my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
what day is it and did you see me today?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
