He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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