I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
