Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am midnight drunk by noon
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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