They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
