he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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