found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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