I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My ass is underappreciated
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
