im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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