she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
there is glitter all over my balls
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
