Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
