Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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