Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have feelings that need drinking.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
