just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this just has baby written all over it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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