May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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