she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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