I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Vodka?
Forever.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
