i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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