He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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