Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
