i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I had to cum in my sink.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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