he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
