Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
