...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
