My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
