It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
