I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
