atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
tell me about the fingering
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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