Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I love you. Go after that dick
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
