Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
