her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
