I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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