fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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