Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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