Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
