You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Welp...herpes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
