I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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