Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
