i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's never too late to be topless.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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