Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
