i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
pop tarts are not kleenex
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
