I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize