so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
