And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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