wanna go halves on a baby?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
