Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
