if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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