I just made out with a guy for $7.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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