Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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