I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
