I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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