Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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