She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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